How to Handle "The Plus One" Conversation for Destination Weddings

Putting together a guest list is arguably the most stressful part of wedding planning, second only to perhaps the seating chart. But when you take your celebration international, the stakes get even higher. Suddenly, you aren't just buying someone a chicken dinner; you are asking them to book flights, take time off work, and pay for a resort stay. This naturally leads to the dreaded question: "Can I bring a guest?" The rules for a plus one in destination wedding scenarios are significantly different—and trickier—than local weddings. Guests often feel uncomfortable traveling alone, yet you are trying to keep your headcount (and budget) under control.

As a photographer, I see the impact of the guest list firsthand. I have shot intimate elopements with ten people where the emotion is palpable, and I have shot massive 200-person ragers where the bride spends half the night introducing herself to strangers. There is no right or wrong size for a wedding, but there is a right way to handle the invitation process. You want to be surrounded by your favorite people, not your cousin's boyfriend of two weeks who might photobomb your family portraits. Here is my honest advice on navigating the delicate balance of empathy and boundaries when it comes to plus ones.

The "Travel Buddy" Dilemma

The biggest argument guests have for bringing a plus one to a destination wedding is simply the travel aspect. Flying to Mexico alone can be intimidating for some, and staying in a romantic resort room solo isn't everyone’s idea of a good time. It is important to validate these feelings. If you have a single friend who doesn't know anyone else at the wedding, expecting them to fly solo is a big ask. In these cases, offering a plus one is often a kindness that ensures your friend actually attends and enjoys themselves, rather than feeling isolated or unsafe during the trip.

However, there is a distinct difference between a "travel companion" and a "wedding guest." I have seen couples successfully navigate this by allowing the friend to bring a travel buddy to the resort, but clarifying that the wedding ceremony and reception are for invited guests only. The companion can enjoy the pool or spa during the wedding events. It sounds harsh, but it is a valid compromise if you are strictly limited by venue capacity. Most of the time, though, if someone travels all that way, they are usually included in the festivities, so you need to weigh the cost of that extra plate against the comfort of your close friend.

The "No Ring, No Bring" Rule in 2026

Traditionally, the "no ring, no bring" rule was the gold standard for trimming guest lists: if they aren't married or engaged, the partner doesn't get an invite. In 2026, this rule feels a bit antiquated. Many couples live together, buy homes, and have children long before (or without ever) getting married. Applying a strict traditional rule can accidentally offend a committed couple just because they don't have a marriage license. Instead of looking for a ring, look for the relationship's longevity and significance. If you have known the partner for years and they are a staple at your social gatherings, they should probably be on the list.

That said, you do need a cut-off point to avoid the "flavor of the month" guests. A solid modern rule of thumb is the "six-month" or "one-year" mark. If they have been dating less than a year, or if you have never met the partner, it is perfectly acceptable to leave them off the invitation. The Knot offers great etiquette advice on this, suggesting that consistency is key. Whatever rule you set, apply it to everyone equally. You can't let your sister bring her new boyfriend but tell your college roommate she can't bring hers; that is a recipe for drama that you don't need on your wedding day.

The Cost Factor: It’s Not Just Dinner

When you plan a local wedding, adding a guest might cost you $150 for a meal and drinks. At an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, the financial dynamics are different. Many resorts charge per-head fees for private events that go beyond just the food. You might be paying for the ceremony chair setup, the cocktail hour open bar, the reception dinner, and sometimes even a "guest pass" fee if the plus one isn't staying at the host resort. When you start doing the math, that random plus one could cost you significantly more than you anticipated, eating into the budget you set aside for things that last forever, like hiring a destination wedding photographer in Cancun.

It is okay to protect your budget. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves, you have every right to prioritize quality over quantity. I often tell couples that every stranger at your wedding is a deduction from your honeymoon fund or your photography package. When you view it that way, it becomes easier to say no. If a guest pushes back, you can be honest about the per-head limitations at the resort. Most rational people understand that destination weddings have strict caps on attendance due to the venue packages, and they won't take it personally if you explain it’s a numbers game, not a personal slight.

The Photography Perspective

From my side of the lens, the guest list drastically changes the vibe of the photos. When you look back at your wedding album in twenty years, do you want to see faces you don't recognize in the background of your first dance? Intimate weddings often yield the most emotional photos because everyone there is deeply invested in your story. When the room is filled with people who truly know and love you, the tears are real, the laughter is louder, and the guard comes down. A room full of strangers (or awkward plus ones who don't want to be there) can dilute that energy, leading to a stiff atmosphere that translates into the imagery.

There is also the matter of the dance floor. A plus one in destination wedding scenarios can sometimes be a wallflower. If they don't know anyone but their date, they tend to sit on the sidelines, or worse, they pull your actual friend off the dance floor to keep them company. I want to capture a packed dance floor with high energy. The best parties happen when the group is cohesive. If you are on the fence about a plus one, ask yourself: "Will this person add to the joy of the day, or are they just a placeholder?" My goal is to capture genuine connections, and that is always easier when the guest list is curated with intention. You can read more about my philosophy on capturing genuine moments on my About page.

Wording the Invitation

The best way to handle the plus one conversation is to preempt it with crystal-clear invitations. Ambiguity is your enemy here. If you address the envelope to "The Smith Family," it implies the kids and maybe a guest are invited. If you address it to "John Smith," it implies only John is invited. Be specific on the RSVP card as well. Using phrasing like "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor" makes it impossible for the guest to write in a plus one without blatantly ignoring your instructions. This saves you the awkwardness of having to call them later to clarify.

For destination weddings, your wedding website is your best friend. Create a robust FAQ section where you address this head-on. You can write something polite but firm, such as: "Due to the intimate nature of our destination wedding and venue capacity limits, we are unable to extend plus ones beyond those named on the invitation." Zola’s guide to wedding websites suggests framing it as a wish to keep the event intimate. This sets expectations early, so guests can decide if they want to make the trip solo before they even commit to the RSVP.

Dealing with Pushback

Even with perfect etiquette and clear invitations, you might get a text asking, "Can I bring my new boyfriend?" It happens. The key is to handle this gracefully but firmly. Do not apologize profusely; simply state the facts. "We would love to meet him, but unfortunately, our venue package is strictly capped, and we’re at maximum capacity." By blaming the venue or the budget, you remove the personal element. It’s not that you don't like their boyfriend; it’s that the resort literally won't let you add another chair.

Remember, this is your wedding. You are curating an experience for yourself and your closest loved ones. It is natural to feel guilty, but you are not responsible for managing everyone else's vacation. If a guest decides not to come because they can't bring a date, that is their choice, and you have to be okay with it. Focus on the people who are making the effort to be there for you. Those are the people I want to photograph you with—the ones who would fly across the world just to see you smile.

Let’s Plan Your Intimate Celebration

Whether you are planning a massive reunion or a select gathering of your nearest and dearest, navigating the guest list is just the first step. Once the people are chosen, the real fun begins: creating an unforgettable experience in paradise. I specialize in capturing the unique energy of destination weddings, ensuring that whoever makes the cut looks their absolute best in your gallery.

If you are looking for a photographer who understands the nuances of destination wedding dynamics and can help you navigate the planning process, I would love to connect. Let’s make your Mexican wedding unforgettable.